He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
~Psalm 147: 3
Today's been weird.
This weekend I discovered this awesome artist by the name of Danni Cassette and her cover of Frank Ocean's "Thinkin' 'Bout You" has me shook.
I remember feeling that "comfortable" in "love"...that "uncomfortable" too.
But I'm still in my "can't-trust-it" phase.
I let my new prospect-type know this this weekend. His reply? "I'll wait for you because you're worth it."
Honestly, I giggled and blushed at the text. Inside? Like, later? I rolled my eyes and huffed and puffed....my huffing and puffing got even more real when I got another letter from my former fiance/ current jail bird Ajani.
He, it, we, whatever that shit was, was the one time that I actually felt reeeeeeeally secure in a relationship, and my security got breached. I got made a fool of and I got hurt.
I'm in "once-burned-twice-shy" mode right now...and I feel a little numb inside. Not dead. Just numb.
Ajani and I had an "I jump you jump" kind of theme going on in our letters...I guess like Rose was when she was floating in the middle of an arctic sea, I too am numb, because dammit, I jumped and he didn't....even though he says he did.
I'm just not at the point where I can trust....bad/sad thing is, I know this isn't new guy's fault...but he will share the blame.
...and I don't feel terrible about it. I mean, it's only natural to be cautious...hell, not being cautious in my past is the thing that's gotten me in trouble.
Time for something new.
