My parents are funny & they don't even try

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting. ~Job 18:11

I think I need to start another Twitter account.
A friend/former-co-worker introduced me to Ghetto Hikes. The creator says; "I'm 28. I have a full time job leading urban kids on nature hikes. I simply write down shit they say."

Some of my favorite tweets are:
-"Mr. Cody, pacifically what you mean when you say there wild animals up in here?"
-"Ernesto know all about plants n' fungi n' shit, his mama work at Subway."
-"Yo, how many stars up in here? Next time we campin' i'mma bring me a microscope, peep me some space."

He has nearly 306,000 followers.

So, my idea? "I Don't Think They Know", or "Parentally-Improper" , a Twitter account about all of the unintentionally hilarious, sexual innuendo-laced comments that my mom and dad say around the house and things they do.

For instance:
- "Open it up and see if you smell the nuts." (We were making granola.)
- "I like the bones...I really like the bones." (Mama was talking about chicken.)
- "I'mma get your daddy's meat." (Mama was talking about bacon.)

And today my mom basically jizzed on me with Glade warmer oil. It landed on my stomach and was warm....yeah. And just a minute ago as I hanged a painting, using daddy's power drill, mama said, "You're in a hurry to screw." Ha!

I think I might do this whole thing. These old people have me cracking up, and I feel the need to share.